Cindy, you are allowing yourself to be used as a proxy for your mother to sanitize and rehabilitate her past. I have never said a negative thing to you about your mother before. I did not want to tarnish her image in your eyes. Conversely, she and our children (you especially) seem bent on doing the opposite to me. Well, here are the facts.
Your mother and I were together. I loved, maintained, and provided for you until my migration to the USA to study.
She is the person that I had accompany me to the airport on my departure. When I left, we were fully together. She even pledged her fidelity during the duration of my studies. However, within a few weeks of my leaving, some of her friends started to call me about her escapades.
Young as you were, you should have remembered your nightly trips to Charlotteville. Or were you too young to remember?
Then there were others. By then you were old enough and would have had first-hand knowledge and from what she told me, you would have had certain objections.
I was not the only man your mother had. You should have known of all the men that she had when I went away to study because she even blamed your behaviour for causing the breakup of some of her relationships.
Before I left for the USA, I fully supported you. When I left, I was on long leave until my eventual resignation from the Police Service. Every month that my salary went to the bank when I was on leave, allowance for you was still being made. Before the end of that period (during my leave), your mother had already stepped out and started her infidelity.
By the time that I retired from the Police Service, I was already in university and paying my own way – even paying out-of-state tuition which was double the instate-tuition for which I did not qualify until after my first year. I was financially unable to meet any other financial obligation and it was during this period that my obligation for your support could not have been met.
What I believe now to be a particular fabrication was when she told me that during my years as a student she would give you money and told you that I sent it. Although I never sanctioned that behaviour, I was in awe of her magnanimity. In spite of everything that she had done, I was impressed with her high-mindedness and unselfishness. Because of that, when I was elected Who is Who Among Students in Universities in America for Outstanding Merit and Accomplishment, it was your mother that I invited to the awards ceremony. Were you aware of that? She accompanied me to that event.
I have long since questioned the veracity of what she told me. Apparently, she had one story for me and one for you all.
Furthermore, are you cognizant of the fact that I sponsored both you and your brother to the USA and you all did not just “migrate” as has been usually told? You and your brother came to America with Green Cards in hand! It was because of me that you were eventually able to sponsor your mother. She even called to thank me profusely when she got her Green Card.
Why are those parts completely left out of your narrative?
Within weeks of my sponsoring you and bringing you to America, your mother gave up her job in Tobago and came to America. I knew nothing of those plans. You, though, were obviously very privy to them. I also know now why she didn’t want you to have unfettered exposure to me as will be explained later.
I actually thought that you and I had a good relationship right up to the time that I brought you up to the United States. It was not until that faithful day when I took the three of you to New York did I know differently. You were bursting to let me know what you had in your mind while you all were in the back seat of my limo. Your mother struggled physically and verbally with you while telling you “gal shut up. Me alone cyah mine yu”. She wrestled with you and literally tried to block your mouth. She knew why.
You physically overpowered her and started your verbal diarrhoea. My heart sank that day! On that day, I heard that I never loved you and I left you at the age of two and women came up to you at the airport to tell you that they were with me. Up to that point I did not even blame you because I knew that you were just regurgitating what your mother told you.
In stunned, trancelike amazement and disappointment, I kept silently saying to myself “Oh my God! What did Cora do to these children? Did she have to go this far to justify her loose behaviour?” Hadn’t it been for that day, I would never have known that there was a total brainwashing of our children and a tarnishing of their father just to justify the fact that she was running around with different men while I was away studying.
Thank God you never had to experience anything like that when you were studying.
I understood completely why she did not want you to speak and why she was wrestling with you to block your mouth. It was because she knew of the toxic mixture that she had fed you all. You could only bring up what went down.
At that point, I did not even blame you. You were just a proxy for your “poor unfortunate mother” and you were only echoing what she told you.
It was what came after that I gave you full credit for. That was when your rudeness gushed forth like a giant waterfall. As you started to rant about the list of things that you were sorry for (you thought you were been sarcastic), certain words seeped through the fog of my realization of the damage that your mother had done to you all –major cognitive dissonance I was experiencing.
The words that you were sorry for something about my computer jarred me. Those words jarred me awake as I had just computerized my first business and was relatively new to the computer back in the 1990’s when I brought you up to the States.
You were also a novice on the computer, but I gave you full access to my computer. The only instruction that I gave you was not to delete or move anything from one place to another because I would not have been able to find it.
Furthermore, my business program wasn’t a windows program, it was written to DOS. Once one becomes more proficient with the computer, anything on it can be easily found. At that time, however, I was not, neither were you.
Therefore, when I heard the words "sorry” and “computer” in the same sentence, I was shaken awake from my trance-like state. Hearing those words, I was startled and asked “Did you spoil my computer?” Well, as loud as you were, your decibel level just increased tenfold as you began to scream “stop lying on me, stop lying on me….”
As you continued, I started to say “Cindy, Cindy” in a very even tone with the intent of answering some of your earlier accusations especially about my leaving you at the age of two and never loving you. I wanted to give you the assurance that I loved you and to explain the circumstances of my leaving.
I never got the opportunity. You were still on your high horse. When you started to shout “Don’t call my name, don’t call my name…”, a name which I had given you, that was too much for me to endure.
On that day, I realized that you were the mother and your mother was the child. Somehow you all had managed to switch rolls. I guess it was because you must have been the one scolding her about her slack behaviour and she having to make herself out to be a victim whom your father advantaged.
However, I was still your father and was not going to accept that behaviour – I could not. Since we were at the destination in NY where you all were going, I got out of the driver’s seat, came to the back door, opened it, asked you all to get out, and told you that I did not want to see you again until you apologized.
Imagine, there were those persons who ran the risk of you and your mother’s friendship by telling you that you needed to apologize. In the meantime, your mother kept telling them that Cindy and her father had their thing and will settle it. However, your mother never one day encouraged you to do so. Maybe she had long lost the moral authority to advise you.
You and I really never had anything. You had the stage and I was shocked into what the reality was. On that day, I realized that you were toxic. Your mother had poisoned your mind.
Subsequently, when no apology was forthcoming, I put you and your brother’s belonging into a limo (that was easy because you had never unpacked; clearly, you all had other plans unbeknownst to me even though I was expected to finance them) and had one of my drivers deliver them to you.
Your mother later informed me that you had thrown a similar tantrum with her in Scarborough on a previous occasion.
My hope, however, was that as you matured, you would have at least have had some sort of intellectual curiosity as to make some enquiries of me if you really wanted to know the truth. Please note that one of your maternal aunts did.
You should be quite aware of the financial sacrifice that has to be made when one is in university. What you may not know, however, is that after my university years and during yours is that I gave your mother money on a regular basis for your support.
When you all came to America, I started to hear utterances from your mother like “Cindy said that she will repay you every penny that you spent on her”. On another occasion when you were in dire financial straits with your living accommodations while you were in university upstate New York, I gave her the money to take care of the situation. Her utterance then was “you know I can’t tell Cindy about this”.
Although utterances like those spoke volumes about your venom, I never said a word – I just listened. On another occasion nearing the completion of your studies, she borrowed money from me for you all to come to Tobago to start a business with the promise of paying me back on her return. My intention was never to accept payment, but not one word was ever said to me after that.
Your mind has been held hostage to your mother’s fabrications until you have started to identify yourself with them completely and accept them as your truth and your own story. This is a classic case of the Stockholm Syndrome.
I hope that some of these revelations will cause you to have some intellectual curiosity to seek out the truth and that your psychological healing can begin. If you continue carrying around the bitterness and hate, they will destroy you. You need to unburden and purge yourself from the toxic elixir which you were fed over the years and having it been reinforced continuously. Seek the truth and the truth will set you free.
You would have noticed that I have not said anything about your brother, Winston Jnr (and deliberately so). But this applies to the three of you. It is you, though, Cindy, that I had hoped that if there was any redeeming quality in any of you, it would have been found in you. Well it seems that I was wrong.
This is not a fight that I will enjoy, but to prevent you all from continuing with your madness and convenient amnesia, I am forced to do this to prevent you from sullying and slandering me any further.
Incidentally, did you know that when I sponsored you and your brother, your mother’s first response to me was that I was trying to steal you all away from her? Well, she made sure that that could never have been a possibility.
If I really wanted to steal you all away from her, when I brought you all to the States, I could have done so easily because it was I who had sponsored you and had the responsibility for you all. She had no legal standing in the USA for your responsibility and her leaving her job and business in Tobago to chase after you all could not have prevented that if I wanted to.
She couldn’t, even when you later filed for her. Nonetheless, all that I wanted to do was to give you the opportunity to be the best that your ability allowed you to be and not to sever your relationship with your mother.
Your mother deserves great credit for dedicating her life to the two of you as most mothers would. My mother also dedicated her life to her children. Be that as it may, your mother’s desperate effort to keep you tied to her has driven her to demonise your father. That has been so complete that you now have embraced it fully. What you have been fed, you now believe to be your true story. That’s sad!
Bad as they were before, your attitudes, especially those of your mother, seem to have taken an especially nasty turn. Obviously, the pretence is now over.
Your mother knew why she didn’t want you to speak on that faithful day, but if you didn’t, I would never have known how noxious you were. My ignorance in that regard could have been very detrimental to me.
You have now embraced the deleterious lies completely as your own story. You have appointed yourself as a sage with advice to young girls against the dangers of the “butchers” out there.
When your mother told you that I left you at the age of two and that I never loved you, couldn’t you have asked “but mom why would he sponsor us to the United States with the intent of sending me to study medicine if he never supported us or loved us?”
Maybe it would have been best for me to leave you all in Tobago. I would certainly have saved myself this unfortunate persecution.
AIso, I can’t understand how come a grandmother you never knew was such an inspiration to you. You have made her a victim and an inspiration. I have no problem with that but do you know that there is also another side to that story about the havoc that she has wreaked on the home of that butcher’s wife? I am sure that you were never told.
There are others, however, who are better able to address that. You don’t even have to look far for that information if you are really interested in the truth. Stop seeing everything through the jaundiced eyes of your mother.
I wish that you could have inherited from the paternal grandmother you actually knew some of her humility, dignity, deep spirituality and decency.
You can’t now rewrite the past with embellishments to sanitize and rehabilitate your mother’s past. The bed that you have made, don’t you now want to lie on it? It is such a shame to see how badly you are been used. Rise above it. You are too intelligent
We all have to take responsibility for the consequences of our actions and not engage in revisionist history to polish up or make ourselves look better than we actually are.
You have been taking many liberties with the facts and are disseminating information much of which you have no first-hand knowledge. Stop playing fast and loose with the facts. It’s unfortunate that you are relying on an unreliable source with a particularly devious agenda. According to local parlance, you don’t even know where the fight is taking place.
Also, wasn’t it a while back that you launched an attack against your mother on social media and when she responded by letting you know how ungrateful you were, you adopted a plausible denial by claiming that your account was hacked?
That’s pathetic. Is this the best use of our time Cindy?
I hope that good sense will prevail and that you will cease your nonsense. The picture that you are trying to paint of me is quite distorted and has your mother as the real artist. I do not have to read and spell for you but it is unfortunate that by now you have continued to do your mother’s bidding and support her effort to correct and rewrite her past.
You are academically accomplished and I hope that maturity and common sense will accompany your musing. One cannot un-ring a bell; once it’s rung, it’s rung.
Going forward, though, I will seek to protect myself from your mischief and misinformation. I have endured it for far too long. However, enough is enough. As of now, this page will not be able to be found except by linking to it directly. Unless I have further provocation by your systematic attempt to put a stain on my dignity and character, it will remain so.
All the same, it can easily be made search friendly with far more details so that the search engines can pull it up whenever a search is done about you in any part of the world. This will then form a permanent record for you and accompany you everywhere for the rest of your life.
Also, since you seem to be becoming more virulent and vocal on social media, please be aware that the same social media could be used to tell this story. Additionally, let it also be a warning that in the local media, I will not hesitate to take out full-page ads linking to this page in the event that you start to feel yourself free to continue to spew your toxicity about your father while you claim to be warning and advising young girls about avoiding the “butchers” out there.
As you purport to be a moral stalwart giving young girls advice, they will have a fuller understanding of whom they will be taking advice from.
What you really should be doing is exhorting them, the young girls, to be positive. You can still be a good role model by extolling the virtues of hard work and that it pays to have a clear and concise mental picture of what they want to be.
Remember that you always wanted to be a doctor and when you entered sixth (6th) form to do Advance, I told you that it would have been better to come up to the USA and start your University journey in fulfilling your dream. I filed for you and your brother immediately. I brought you up to the USA at my home, which really was your home too, to start University.
You have a great story to tell. Just tell it like it truly is. Don’t try to enhance it with negative embellishments about your father and maternal grandfather.
I wish you all the best and not one day goes by without me praying to God for you. I am happy about your success. My hope, though, is that someday soon you will come to terms with the truth, the real truth, and not the one conjured up for you by your mother.
Let good sense and decency prevail. Parents and children should not be having this public spat.
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